Scribbled Words by John

I Fear No One

2011-04-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

You may not be my size but I will fight you coz I fear no one.
I may be your bestfriend but I can be your worst enemy and your worst nightmare.
I may be kind but I am willing to kill you.
Confront me, I will torture you so you will remember me

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on November 2007

A Ghostly Affair

2011-04-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

This is much more than a scary nightmare i think, and here how it goes...

There was a time in college where we were all filled with a lot of problems, including unfinished projects, daily quizzes, weekly tests/exams. All of these were really stressful for students like me who is pressured to work hard. Even at these times I still manage to have a relationship with a cute girl who is a year younger than me and looks like a student from an elementary school, cute ain't she?

I went home tired from working hard on finishing projects at school and studying for exams at the same time. As always I sleep in the afternoon to recover from the draining work. When I'm trying to fall to sleep, I always feel strange, The air seems to be so cold and I felt I wasn’t alone. I try to ask myself, am I hallucinating? am I crazy? or I'm just too overworked.

I sleep sideways as always, I am so damn tired and I can barely move so I took a peak at my side only to find out that there was really something/someone beside me. First I saw two small feet, a white cloth then a dark hair and I can hear her breathing. I'm too tired to move, I couldn’t even scream, finally I stood up, she disappeared and still I feel drowsy so I got back to sleep. I realized maybe i just missed someone that is why it came to a dream.

As a normal boy in a relationship, my girlfriend and I were dating as usual; eating, spending time together. Maybe this was already to much for me to miss her. So I believe I wont fall for a girl in a dream again. Another strange and tiring day came, I fall fast asleep, good thing my brother was in the room to watch over me. While he was playing games on my computer I was sleeping. Suddenly I had a hard time breathing, I was gasping for air and I felt like I was choking. As I try to reach out to my neck, I felt a hand was grabbing me. I was trying to pull them away and looked up to see my assailant only to see my brother's face in wide eyes and grinny teeth choking me. I tried to scream for help but no words came out, I saw my brother was still playing the computer but he can't hear me. This confused me for a while and asked myself who is th real assailant and who is my real brother. The pressure on my neck slowly died down and for the last time I looked at my assailant's face slowly fading away, it was the little girl draped in white and crying in tears. I asked myself, what have I done to her, why would she even use the image of my brother. Is she jealous of me because I have a girlfriend? Maybe she can’t accept the fact that it is impossible for me to be with her, that's why killing me was the only solution.

As my mother usually says, most people were not born alone in this world. People may have a twin in the parallel world(spiritual) and he/she always watches over you. I believe so, most of the time they can be your guardian, sometimes they can be your death.

A Friend's Warning

2011-04-26T11:00:00.002-07:00

It was june 19, 2007 tuesday at exactly 8:am in the morning. I woke up crying, my tears were not of sorrow but of hapiness, my emotions were mixed. I jast had a dream…

In my dream i saw myself walking in a familiar street when suddenly a familiar face passed by me… I grabbed him by the arm and said “Bai, kumsta? Asa naman ka run?"(Hey, how are you? Where have you been?). His face was so familiar, his eyes, nose and hair, he was almost real as if it wasn't a dream. I recognized him and I was very happy to see his face again, he was one of my best friends in 3rd grade. He smiled back at me, nodded and responded with not an answer but a warning "Mag-ingat ka bai, maligsan ka, mawala imung nawong, malapit na tayo magkita."(Be careful my friend something bad might happen to you on this day, you will have an accident, you will lose your face, I will see you soon). His message was clear to me and I believed in him.

I woke up smiling remembering how my friend looked like. I was really happy to see him again but I was really sad at the same time, since he was a friend who passed away 11 years ago. To me he was my angel, I thanked him for the warning.

On that day I was absent at school for no reason and my parents didn't believe me when I told them the story. I just stayed at home doing nothing...

R.I.P. Ret, Thanks for the warning...

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on June 2007

My Philosophy in Fighting

2011-04-26T11:00:00.001-07:00

It is better to loose a bloody battle than to fail a Master by disobedience

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on April 2007

My Reason for Fighting

2011-04-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

I did not fight to fulfill my dreams
But to fulfill the dreams of my grandfathers
I do not have the will to fight
But I do have the will to obey
My grandfathers may have left this world
But have left behind their power
Within me their blood runs through my veins
And with their great faith in God they have shared to me
These gifts and talents, which I believe I should return the favor
By fulfilling their dreams that have been long unfulfilled.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on April 2007

My 6 Rules of Fighting

2011-04-26T10:58:00.001-07:00

1. ”Always follow what the master says no matter how impossible it may seem.”
2. “Always do your best in everything you do.”
3. “Never show your opponent your weaknesses.”
4. “Always try to remove an opponent’s advantages.”
5. “When you are in a disadvantage position protect yourself while waiting for a mistake to happen and try to escape.”
6. “Last but not the least scratch your head, smile and accept defeat.”

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on April 2007

Controlled by Unreality

2011-04-26T10:57:00.001-07:00

my life moves towards a vision which my body could not resist and my mind could not understand.
a part of me fears to face the fact and consequences that may happen or i would make during my self building process but the rest of me moves freely and act accordingly to what i should do and they are believing while i don’t.
Isn’t that my body has been controlled by my dreams because my heart believes that dreams are true. therefore i ask are our dreams the future? before i answer “YES, the future are our dreams!” i have to experience it myself to believe by reaching to the point of what i have dreamt of while my foot is standing on the ground of reality with my eyes open.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on December 2006

My Heart Keeps Waiting...

2011-04-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

All these words written,
feelings i keep eating.

If only a heart speaks,
it's only you it seeks.

A heart of forgiveness,
your love is it's only weakness.

For long I thought the heart could easily burn,
but for you it waits until you return.

A love forgotten,
but can be forgiven.

My heart keeps waiting,
let's start from the beginning.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on September 2006

The Great Dismay

2011-04-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

My dreams were lost but with you a dream was newly found.
When you were still dreaming while i’m here dying, wishing I was not around

What if I’ll say goodbye and flee,

are you happy now coz you’re free.

How stupid to let love leave, in exchange

dreaming of a new love you believe.

I thought I could take the pain more,

a day, a week, a month or year i’m not really sure.

I would rather go than stay
afterall i wasn’t the prince of your heart’s throne anyway.

Cruel how dreams eats the love
like crows scavenging on the meat of a dead dove.

My heart now is steel cold and pale
love after all isn’t a great fairy tale.

It really is a dismay
how sad to end a long love story this way.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on September 2006

A Killer Hidden

2011-04-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

A smile so kind, so generous, so loving, a man on the good side
behind all these, eager of something, a killer deep inside.

Hands made of steel,
heart willing to kill.

Mind and body is it's weapon with a skill of the unknown,
it's fingers ready to break a bone.

He looks at you like a frozen ice,
even his bare hands could slice.

The swiftness of its motion, the quick reflexes and strikes so powerful,
not even willing to loose but only a fool.

A knife on the hand could cause disease,
his strikes so critical causing paralysis.

A blow in the head could cause your brain to shake,
no mercy he has even for god’s sake.

Now his angels have been forsaken,
what you see now is the demon that was long hidden.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on September 2006

To Die is a Blessing

2011-04-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

before you say a word i would like to ask you “kill me i would like to die”
stories you say that you are proud to tell me of i only wish it was all a lie

i want you to know each time you speak i remember your memories and the ones you had shared them with
and the things i hate so much but you once did

so many times you have fallen into a trap
i only wish for once in your life “can you listen to me, shut your mouth and stop

i once remembered you’ll leave me coz you’re out to spend time with them
while here i am sleeping, thinking, and waiting again

while you are always out spending plenty of time and having fun
here i am collecting dust and hiding from the sun

i only wish a man like me could easily cry
but i would rather let you take a knife and kill me coz its a blessing to die

than hear the words that causes my heart to bleed and my brain to shuffle
remembering the names i do not want to recall

seeing your eager eyes wanting to tell
about the names i do not even want to spell

i am all in pain
is this what you mean to love in vain?

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on September 2006

Feelings I Can’t Forget

2011-04-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

i remember you beside me but you feel far away
i remember how i wish you would love me someday
i remember you who always cried
i remember the feeling of how my love was denied
i remember the times we keep watching the stars
i remember it as your way of hiding your scars
i remember the feeling of being betrayed
i remember i was used, abused and just being played
i remember telling you “please stop and forget”
i remember telling you “you shouldn’t regret”
i remember the first time i have seen you smile at me
i remember how happy i am to see your hidden beauty
behind those pouty lips and teary eyes i did not know
there is a beauty deep inside you long to show

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

You are Still in a Nightmare!

2011-04-26T10:51:00.001-07:00

Sweating in a winter cold night,
an eerie feeling you wanted to fight.

Out of your house made of wood,
someone whispers your name, a man in a black hood.

Looking at the window he drew closer and closer,
you ran fast as you can to a road of forever.

Grabbed by the hand you start to freeze,
hand of disease, the hood, the face of death it is.

You fought hard struggling to get free,
you woke up to see reality.

Then a whisper, calling out your name,
look its just an open window pane

A whisper, its your name he starts to spell,
maybe its the cold breeze, the sound of the wind, you couldn't tell.

The whispers louder now behind you,
you turned around afraid if what you heard is true.

An obscure black shape with a hollow voice it says "YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE!"

Hey WAKE UP! you are still in a nightmare...

---Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006---

More Than Just a Word

2011-04-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

love turns a simple beauty to perfection
love is a beauty beyond expectation
love is a beauty beyond what your eyes have only seen
love is completely what your heart is feeling
love is like a dream feelings of uncertainty
love is a fairy tale turned to reality

never a doubt love makes you blind
because its a hidden treasure its not just easy to find

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

Thinking Sometimes

2011-04-26T10:40:00.002-07:00

sometimes its better far but thinking happily about you
than here i am close but feeling empty beside you
sometimes its better that i suffer crucifixion
than for you to be under an ill condition
sometimes its better alone and just think
than being with you and only i get is a wink
sometimes its better to be blind
than see the truth behind
sometimes its better that you should lie
than too be break my heart and die
sometimes its better that the truth be told
than keeping painful secrets until we grow old
but for me to hear you say goodbye
sometimes i feel that i should rather die

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

It's Too Late

2011-04-26T10:40:00.001-07:00

a time waisted
a time only tears i have tasted
a time of cold shoulders
a time where ther were borders
a time with a faint smile and a feather’s kiss
a time of a great moment we miss
a time without love
a time where there are no stars above
a time of sorrow and regret
a time how i wish i could forget

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

Let the Game Begin

2011-04-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

A falchion on one hand, a buckle on the other
an armor of light, a mask of terror...

A ring of courage, an amulet of hope,
A heart of a lion, a warrior blessed by the pope...

The devil whispers every demonic name
waking monstrosities from hell, breaking the chains of shame...

My ears are deaf with the march of the sinned

The flapping of wings the gnawing of crooked teeth, footsteps like thunder they fly like the wind...

The scraping of graves, the walking of the undead
the dark catacombs now have been emptied...

A hideous laughter starts echoing
his massive army of terror excited of winning...

I clicked, I tapped...

Hand moved freely striking swiftly the enemy

One by one body starts kneeling then heads fall, rolling...

Powerful weapons combined by fierce skills
Counting the number of kills...

One down 999 more to go
Blood everywhere, on the ground, on water they will continue to flow...

A weapon stained with blood starts dripping
The warrior's heartbeat starts racing...

Guilty of killing

Joy of winning...

Even his visions blurry
The face of the enemy he can still see clearly...

Let the game begin...
---Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006---

Beauty Beyond Expectation

2011-04-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

The beauty unseen in the midst of a crowd
The beauty i could never be proud
The beauty below what i imagined
The beauty that made my point of view ruined
The beauty that made my blind eye see
The beauty i expect not to be
The beauty that changed my world
The beauty i was never told
The beauty that made my heart beat
The beauty that made frozen ice heat
The beaty that made me fly like a dove
The beauty, only i could ever love

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

Dragon’s Touch

2011-04-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

as she lay to sleep her head securely rested over the biceps of my left arm
her face as beautiful and innocent as a child’s while her right cheek resting on my left chest
i carefully combed her hair with my right hand brushing her hair repeatedly every stroke with care
running my fingers up to the last strands of her silky long black hair
i kissed her well defined forehead like a father does to his daughter before put to sleep
and also her stump nose that didn’t grow with her age still cute and small
a kiss that meant father’s love and a father’s care
as i carefully slid my hands into her shirt getting a firm hold of her hips
amazed by its beauty and perfection my hands ran on the liquid contour of her body
crawling to a bridge of muscles and bones until i reached her nape
sliding slowly so now her head is well rested on my hand
her body now fully rested her backbone and shoulder blades tightly fits
the muscles in my right arm laying her down like a baby on one arm.
a winter’s frozen kiss she slowly responds everything now is summer heat but still her eyes is into sleep
everything happened smoothly like things were expected to
like two liquid elements in a beaker
kept sliding and rolling drowning then floating, tight and no space in between
her bed now became a monstrous enormous sea engulfing us in between
drowning animals fighting to get to the top catching for air
like tigers and dragons chasing it’s tails turning and spinning
both of us predators at the same time a prey
my arms took the form of a dragon’s tail like a snake that had caught its prey entangling, squeezing the enemy
almost breaking every bone while fangs are embedded to the kneck, the tiger roaring helplessly
almost breathless its catlike claws digging deep into the reptilian skin a heat and burning sensation i felt.
i slid gently the key of love into the lock of chastity leading to the gates of heaven
tightening of flesh and the fever heat inside flopping friction of skin to skin burning
with every stroke rolled a thunder sending vibrations in our body, thousand lightnings strucked tingling every senses
until we reached the top of the sky, light from the heaven blinding us,a moan of death an instant paralysis for a moment
sending us falling down quickly pulled by the gravity of earth’s core from heaven to the hot lavas of hell
the dragon’s dead as well as the tiger motionless and breathless both struggled to get free
of one another but under the love of god thunders and lightings ended both worlds.
the shine of the sun had forced open my eyes telling me to wake up from a restless dream
too tired to wake up a pricking pain, the burning sensation awakened me similar to the pain i felt from a dream
god damn i got scratched by a cat but a cat was knowhere to be found
then a hand on the shoulder a familiar sweet voice whispers near my ear
“GOOD MORNING MY LOVE” as the sun rises and its rays getting brighter
and a kiss.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

Love Does Not Count The Pain

2011-04-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

how painful it is to hear songs
that once became a man’s life

i have once made a choice
choosing someone who is in need of my love was stupid
because i never knew if it is worth the sacrifice

i tried to make her happy hoping for her to love me in return
betrayal is what i get it made me sob in tears
too late for her to realize i already loved her
when my heart cracked open and wouldn’t stop from bleeding

to be with her in the daylight was my greatest and happiest moment
because there were no shadows
to be with her at night was my worst nightmare
tears and endless cries would flood the balcony
lurking shadows of the past whispering
demons cluttering around
and ghostly white silhouettes would past between us

a woman’s painful memories
one man’s torn flesh
living,loving while decaying in pain

to forget the past is to carve it on the rocks with bare hands
and leave it all behind still the pain was there

the boy took the ugly duckling because he knows
someday it will become a beautiful swan

with faint smile the boy watched innocently as a
beautiful moth emerged from the cocoon that
once was the uggliest creeping creature a leech

the first stupid choice i made
so many sacrifices i did
for the sake of love
blood and tears i continue to shed
all these things i didn’t regret
because with her the incomparable sweet love is what i get

this words i wrote
hoping to forget the once painful past
and for my scars to heal.

with you i feel new again
with you i was reborn
with you i am who i am
because you showed me the new you
someone i never knew before
and to leave behind of what was you
somehow have eased the pain
and made me love you even more.

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on August 2006

High School Poem#2 - The Rose

2011-04-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Rose, whose sweetness grace and beauty is for me.
A rose that is hard to get
You’ll be hurt first before you can get it
But you need to find ways to have it without being hurt.

Their thorns which seems to be her only protection
Against those who may cause her harm
But for those who are gentle and sincere
She offers nothing but charm.

Full of mystic and magnetism
Engulfs every curve of her petals
Irrisistably captivating,drowning you into fantasy
Tantalizing you into the fold of her arms.

High School Poem#1 - I am The Sun

2011-04-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

I am the sun, the sun that shines for her.
The sun which gives a big smile for her everyday
And my light, lightens her feelings
To set a good mood each day.

I am the sun, every time I rise
Plants a little kiss on her cheek
And she blossoms like a flower
Fragrance and color everyone I showered.

The sun who takes good care of her
And because of her beauty and grace
I am inspired to often give my
Very best rays.

How can I take you home?

2011-04-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

How can I take you home? How I wish you were smaller than I think so I can put you inside my pocket and take you home…How I wish I could be with you 24/7 like a bodyguard. How I wish everyday of my life you are there always beside me so I can protect you from all the things you fear. I can’t take it any more I will find a way to be with you always and take you home! I love you! I want to be with you everyday of my life every minute, every second. How is that possible to happen when there is still a need for me to go home too bad I have always been that Cinderella Man who can not go later than midnight. How I wish I could stay longer with you not just for a night or for years but for eternity. I’m sick and tired of this the pain you always felt. It has eaten my flesh already. It is more painful than you think when everything I wish to do would always be a failure, and would not happen because it is still not yet possible. Why can’t they understand? How can I make them feel the pain you feel? Are they just too self-righteous or are they just too selfish? We will have to wait… but time is too slow I can not wait any longer. I just want to take it all away those fears, your worries, those tears you shed every time I say goodnight. How I wish I have the power enough to crush and burn all the things you hate and fear! So that you have nothing to worry about! Too much of that fiction! Reality is what we have here! Let us face the truth they are there and we are here! We will face them together!

I love you and that is all I want to say… I need you that’s all I want you to know… you’re pretty face is always inside my mind and my heart. I love you! Still we will have to wait… Fuck time! I hate this!

This is the question that I would always ask every time I say goodbye to you! I have always wished things would happen my way! If that would be possible then things would be better!

Seeing you out of that corridor waving that lonely goodbye and wearing that faint smile always made my heart sank! I love you beb help me find a way to make it possible. I can not take this anymore! The thought of you alone makes my heart bleed shattering my emotions. I don not want you alone there anymore! I know you hate it. That is why I have always been here for you! I have come for you, here to take you home!
Let’s go!

Moved from my Friendster blog, written on October 2005

What's the Worst Thing That'll happen

2010-05-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

What's the worst thing that'll happens to a student is to stop dreaming after getting a degree.

What's the worst thing after getting a degree is to work in the same level with people who has no degree.

Today's era is not about what you have accomplished at school but what you can accomplish at present.

In real life degree doesn't count, money does.

How I wish I Could Cry

2009-10-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt a something in you heart so painful that you wish you were heartless so you will never feel the pain?

Have you you ever felt crying but not a single tear would come out and you wish your heart will drown from the inner tears you feel?

Have you ever felt being useless and you wish you didn't even exist?

Have you ever felt being taken for granted?

Like a comedian telling jokes but you only get a smirk?

Like a clown in the park making fun of himself yet nobody enjoys it?

Like a lover showing affection and yet you only get hurt back?

Sorry I could only type the tears but I couldn't show it.

How I wish I was numb,

How I wish I was dumb,

How I wish I could cry,

How I wish I'll just . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A Perfect World

2009-09-30T03:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought of a perfect world?

Have you ever thought of living in this world, perfect?

Well to start, we all know the world has never been perfect since the beginning of time. Geometrically speaking, The world was never a perfect sphere and it continues to evolve up until now, changing not for the better though, but for the worst.

As time goes by, each change in every generation brings both good and bad effect. Although technology brought advantages that may have helped people in many ways, making things easier and faster on the other hand, most of them have affected us mentally and socially. Technology such as; computers, video games and home entertainment systems made us unaware of the fact that it has been controlling us.

In the following paragraphs, I will show you how technology would affect us greatly and totally change our lifestyle in the near future.

I know everyone is familiar with the movie Matrix, let me ask you one question? do you know how close we are to this reality?

Everybody might not be aware of this but I think a few years from now, Virtual reality will become our world.

I will show you 3 reasons to believe that we are getting close to this.

1. Check out this Wii2 game console conceptualized by Nintendo. With the application of brain wave technology we can control everything with just our brain.

Our brain is the center of the nervous system,close to the primary sensory apparatus of vision, hearing, balance, taste, and smell. Brains control behavior either by activating muscles, or by causing secretion of chemicals such as hormones. With it we are capable of extracting information from the environment and acting in response to it. In short our brain controls everything which can be stimulated by many factors. Stimulating a brain alone allows us to feel all 5 senses as though it was real eventhough we haven't actually felt it yet.

Remember when you see a food, you drool coz you know how it would taste, you would never touch a torch coz you know it's hot and it hurts and you would never jump off the building coz you know what death is, eventhough you haven't actually experienced it.

Is there a time when you felt your dream was real? There are cases when you have felt falling off or dying in a dream and suddenly you wake up believing it was real, correct?

Our brain alone allows us to feel all senses without even actually doing anything but just thinking of it, so a virtual simulation is really possible.

2. What if we use this brain wave technology to login to a three dimensional world, a world that is virtually perfect for us. Think about second life.

Second Life (SL) is a virtual world developed by Linden Lab that launched on June 23, 2003 and is accessible via the Internet. It enables its users, called Residents, to interact with each other through avatars. Residents can explore, meet other residents, socialize, participate in individual and group activities, and create and trade virtual property and services with one another, or travel throughout the world.

In this world we become what we always wanted to be, perfect no flaws, no imperfections and without disabilities.

As of now 7 out of 10 people are online browsing the internet and community sites and that includes both you and me. Time will come 100% of our world's population are sitting in their homes connected through a network and enjoying a life in the virtual world. Sooner or later everyone will live by it.

3. Three dimensional models nowadays are becoming so real that it becomes hard to identify the real thing from the digitally designed and created object.

So if you are connected to a virtual world mimicing reality close to 100%, it would really be hard to wake up from this man made illusion.

Friendship or Business?

2009-05-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Base on my experience, It's hard to deal business with close friends because sometimes they would use friendship as a reason to delay payment that will soon turn out to be a debt. Or they would buy something from you that they become unsatisfied of, ruining your relationship.

On the other hand it's rather easier to make friends through business, where both of you create a mutual relationship between customer and seller. Customers just come and go, that's the good thing about it, no emotional attachment or anything but once they become close enough, they become real friends, it becomes a cycle. They delay payment that turns out to be an unpaid debt.

My Thought Prison

2009-05-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

A prisoner I am, imprisoned by my own thoughts and paranoid by intuition. I don't ever look back at memories, I always think of what I can do at present and what I can be in the future. I know how to make friends but only for a moment because it's quite hard to get emotionally attached that it might be too difficult to take away. Yes I'm a jolly and cheerful person but I bring the image of fear and darkness so others would keep their distance.

I've been used, I've been had and I've been criticized. And now I'm always on my guard and never put it down. The fact that people can be instruments, it's either we use them or they use us, a player or a pawn.

Sometimes people are no different from a parasite, they suck blood out of you, they use you for their own benefits, they become totally dependent. For when the moment you take yourself away from them, they become madly insane, a friend turned to foe in split second, just for loosing one of their obsessed posession, YOU.

My Thoughts on Crucifixion

2009-04-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

Why do you think Jesus Christ was crucified? do you believe he was crucified to save mankind alone? No I don't think so, God is the ultimate being, he can make things happen and make things not happen, but why would he allow his son to suffer a brutal death?

The truth is, he let this happen to save him from the sins of mankind.

The biggest mistake God has ever made was creating his son in human flesh. Being a man alone is a sin, engulfed by so much feelings and emotions. Jesus was nurtured by his mother with these things and grew up with them.

God may have created man in his own image and likeness but he made man Rational Beings, in which man thinks and moves base on the decision he makes, where man's decision would base on his feelings and emotions.

The big difference between God and man is, God never cries, God never bleeds and God never dies. That's why God is able to create and destroy anything without question, and he doesn't even know how it feels to suffer.

As Jesus grew old he leaned more being a man, God was quite aware of that and was afraid that he would be as sinful as them. Just like man Jesus is an Emotional Being, he can be able to show a strong passion of emotion, appreciation, displeasure, even hostility, considered to be one of the sinful acts of man.

Remember how he got angry with the Pharasees for refusing even to help a sick one on the Sabbath, remember he got angry at the vendors who were committing sacrilege in the temple. There were many times Jesus became emotional and angry.

With each passion and emotion Jesus have shown with man, In God's eyes it was sinful. That's why his own father allowed him to be crucified to death, To be punished, To vanish from the world of sinful beings but there was actually a greater reason behind all this brutality. The truth is it was his affair with the Prostitute Mary Magdalene, in which he has shown a unique emotion beyond anger and hostility.

Just like man, Jesus is also a Sexual Being, he knew compassion, mercy, the tenderness of heart that turned out to be something different. . . LOVE, the greatest emotion a man could ever have but still in the eyes of God it was no different from the sinful acts of man.

For Your Eyes Only

2009-04-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

A woman's body is just one of the great things that I truly appreciate. An artist's work is a great expression of his emotion. The beauty of it is a result of his evident love and devotion from his concealed thoughts and feelings which only his hands could express. Every passionate stroke of his brush is like a caress to a woman's body, every drop of paint is like tears which gives color and life.

Like God they could create out of their image and likeness but their is only one thing missing, it could never thank you for giving her the life and could never give love in return. A portrait of a woman is no different from a rock it cannot breathe, it cannot move, it cannot love. A man created something only his eyes could appreciate.

Letter of a Prodigal Son

2009-04-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry dad if I went away. I have to face a greater responsibility. I'm sorry if i have kept it to you for so long I am what you are right now. I know how hard it is to loose someone you love, but I tell you the truth, you never lost anything there are things that i have just newly found.

We all know things change, everything grows, things happen for a reason therefore I could not stay as a child no more. I took away all the comforts in life that you have given me and have sacrificed myself to love and commitment. Even though life is so hard right now i have to face the truth, be a man and be responsible of my acts. You taught me well, you have brought me up well, you are truly the greatest dad and I am still your son.

I went away for a reason not rebellion. Though things may still hurt like a piece of heart taken, I will return with a gift to heal your heartache, a new life that has been given to me, A new flesh only you could appreciate as you grow old, another weight you could carry with your arms until you cannot carry no more, another beauty you will love until you go blind. Another face you will kiss and say "goodnight my little child".

Breaking Chains, Seeing Reality

2009-04-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

I am proud of what i have become and have created myself to fulfill the dreams of my grandfathers. I may have broken a few hearts to seek life and independence. To break the chain of comforts that imprisoned me is to make a change in life and be different. I am no longer your child but a man who can stand on his own two feet, arms that could carry heavier burdens and eyes that could see how hard life is.

I have no right to vengeance, this ain't a violent revenge. I just want you to realize that words can hurt sometimes even if you don't mean it, Jokes that are half meant are but an insult. I cry in pain but shed no tears and smirk to silence the sigh that felt like a rock in my heart. I am proud of you for teaching me well; to be wise, to be honest and true, decent, loving, responsible, respectful and most of all be hardworking and independent. Your teachings have paid off i'm sorry if I made a turn all of a sudden. Like I said your jokes are but an insult, it was your words that pushed me out of the line and misdirected me, the words "Go away and have a life". I'm sorry if you think I made a wrong turn or the wrong choice to tell you honestly everything happens for a reason, God may have made me to make the wrong choice so I could correct his mistakes and help those who he have left behind. God use people to become his instruments and I am one of them.

Looking Glass

2009-04-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this would work but to share this experience you have to experience it yourself. Everyone could have bypassed this experience or just to busy to realize it themselves or too involved with so many things with so much people. In order to really feel this you have to be alone or if you are in a busy place as much as possible make no contact with other people just read...

Close your eyes as if you are sleeping, for a minute listen to your surrounding, to the people talking or passing by, the sound of the busy streets or the place you are in right now. Then open it as if you just woke up, now see the difference? You are not with them, with respect to time and place you and other people belong to the same area, although that would be true but you are on the other side, you are actually into a looking glass. Try looking into a mirror and see your reflection standing on where you are standing, now look away and see the difference. Biologically are eyes are made to see everything around us except us ourselves which individually gives us different point of views. We can see our hands, our body, our legs but not entirely ourselves. We seem to be like a walking camera taking pictures but cannot take a picture of ourselves. We are actually just looking into this world or we're made to look after it.

If you notice there are different elements that surrounds us including people but you have to realize the big difference. People may find themselves just living in this world for no reason at all. Where actually each one of us were made to look after it. We are actually in a looking glass but not all of us could realize that. We are actually in control but we let other people control ourselves. Things around us were made to be used by us, people around are actually tools and instruments for us to achieve things in life, which shows that everything around is entirely dependent on us.

Base on Newton's Third Law of Motion were "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." In fact every action we make could make a difference, every action has it's reaction although not really equal and opposite, things can change if we make it. We can actually be anything in this world and be greater than what we are right now, if we just know how to take control. Actually we can, only a few of us knows this because some people let others manipulate them. If we have the will we can be powerful, we can be leaders, we can be rich, we can be famous.

Only The Mirror Sees You

2009-04-03T02:20:00.000-07:00

I wish to share you one of the weird feelings or experience I had when I was young. I think I was at the age of 7 or 10 when I realized that the world seems to stop every time I close my eyes and the world would start moving again when I open it. The world sleeps when I'm asleep, It felt like i'm in control of the world. The world seems to be like a clock without me it doesn't move at all. Come to think of it one move you make could possibly change everything around you, the people, the mood the environment actually depends on what you'll actually do.

What do you see when you wake up one early morning while everyone is still asleep? Animals, trees, structures or buildings, a few people. You actually can see the world but you can't even see yourself unless you look into a mirror. What you can only see are your two hands and feet but yourself No! Just like in a first person shooter game, Imagine! The fact is You are totally a separate being, totally apart from this world, your in it but you are not with it. With respect to place you are at the other side of the window looking at everything but with the same purpose and function with other beings. If you're in it you should be actually seeing yourself with it, with them but it seems to be impossible, that's what's confusing about it. You are just the one who overlooks it, one overseer who can possibly change the world with an action, a God but much less powerful.

What's good thing about it is you can think highly of yourself because you are beyond other beings. Others maybe greater than you are because they know this fact themselves, they've experienced the same feeling, They know they can control the world and They have become leaders of this world, The rich, The powerful and The Feared.

You are actually in control, your words that you speak and the actions that you make could make a difference in this world. The world is just like a computer game where you could actually win it with the right action. The only difference is once you've made a mistake you can never undo it or load the game again. In this world there is no saving...so think twice before you do something because one mistake may actually destroy you.

In this world you have nothing to fear, pain is temporary death is nothing because you won't know it. The fact is the world ends when you die because all you see is nothing. Just like when you put off your television all you see is black...that is actually the world you only own. So before everything shuts down make the best out of it because you can't live twice. You control the world don't let it control you.